Blog(h)er Smackdown, Take 1

Before the post-BlogHer10 glow fades and I feel duty-bound to return to my usual offerings of political and human rights pop culture babble (which, incidentally, is very likely to keep me off the invite lists for the really cool soirees for years to come) I want to share some lessons I learned during my New York adventure.

For those not in the know (in other words, me 5 months ago) the BlogHer annual conference is a gathering of (predominantly) female bloggers from around the United States and Canada. There are mommy bloggers, fashion bloggers, coupon clipping bloggers, funny bloggers, special needs bloggers and pretty much every possible kind of “blogger” you can think of.  The conference is a place to learn and schmooze and wear your feet down to bloody stumps.

And this is what I learned ….

1Reaffirmation!

Hands down, the BEST part of the BlogHer experience is discovering the people you meet online are as sweet, caring, beautiful and smart in real life as they are on the Internet. It’s a real relief if, like me, you find yourself often wondering if these beings you tweet, chat or otherwise “connect” with online are actually real, live people and not just some Terminator-esque machine playing a sick joke.

(*waves* @sneekpeakatme @aspiringmama @supercatcalhoun

@LoveThatMax @shannonrosa  @Juliaroberts1)

2That’s me in the corner …

I actually do not “squeeeee” in real life, but I am still friendly! Really.  Sort of. I mean, … as long as I have had at least one cup of coffee.

3… with my coffee and a Danish

I actually feel quite comfortable sitting by myself in a room full of people just people watching! It’s actually quite interesting (and a GREAT way to relieve the burning feet). It is also a really great way to meet people …. Strangely enough … who may also be searching for some quiet in the storm of noise. (*waves* @MommyWantsVodka)

4Feel the Power

There is nothing, anywhere, as empowering as the collective energy of over 2,000 women and men looking to making a difference on the issues that matter to them.

5Talk a mean Jive

I still talk in my sleep. Apparently my sleep-talking unleashes vows of any omelet of their choice for stunned roommates (*waves* @aspiringmama) … at 3 a.m. … in a hotel room the size of a closet … without a fridge, and certainly no stove.

6Assault is Permissible

While I do not “squeeeee” in real life, I WILL hunt you down and jump you in an elevator if you are wearing the right name tag. (*waves* @TheNextMartha)

7Closet Swag Hag

When confronted with truly obscene amounts of free stuff, I can still (barely) manage to refrain from grabbing things I do not need … but I will still, despite my best intentions and aversion to my actions, walk out carrying bags and bags of stuff.

8Flip Flops are Not My Friend

There really is no such thing as comfortable shoes after 13 hours of running up, down, around and through the conference halls. While shoes – the love of my life – may not be my friends, Bandaids most definitely are.

 9There is no safe space …

@TheBloggess really can read minds ….

So be careful what you think when you are in her presence.

 10Priorities Must Be Kept in Order

I will leapfrog over unsuspecting escalator riders, belly crawl through crowds and elbow Elmo out of my way to get to my first cup of morning coffee.

Coming Soon:

Blog(h)er Smackdown, Take 2 – The Painful Personal Truth I learned From Elmo

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9 Comments to “Blog(h)er Smackdown, Take 1”

  1. Can so relate to much of what you said! And waves back…loved hanging with you!

  2. Ellen says:

    Love this. I know we didn’t get to hang that much, because I was suffering from a unique form of BlogHer lunacy (I DO squeee in real life), but the feeling is mutual!

  3. TheNextMartha says:

    I think I’m first to arrive here. I like to win. I also like to smack. Bend over next time and I’ll assault you back. It was great meeting you.

  4. juliette says:

    Love, love, LOVED meeting you both in New York!
    It was an AMAZING time!!!
    I’ll have to see if I can find my inner squeeee for next time!
    ~ J

  5. juliette says:

    WOOT! WOOT!!!!
    I am going to hold you to that offer m’lady!!!!
    ~ J

  6. I heard what you did to Elmo and I’d be surprised if they ever let you back into a BlogHer Expo hall, girlfriend. 😉

  7. Aunt Becky says:

    Bwahahahaha! It is a WALL of noise, for reals. I’m SO glad I got to meet you, dude. And let me tell you that I am not all that happy to be home 😉

  8. juliette says:

    Dude!
    totally ran head first into the post-BlogHer blues!
    actually found myself missing that wall o’noise!
    (tho i didn’t miss hiding from Elmo)
    ~ J