Posts Tagged ‘breaking the chief’

Breaking the Chief: How I peed on my McNuggets

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

People often remark I look tired, stressed, overworked…scattered. I try to tell them it isn’t my fault! Yes, I work hard, don’t sleep enough and have waaaay too much to do…but what really gets me? Is the universe’s craptastically odd sense of humor. I submit my evidence for the day.

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All I wanted to do was leave a voicemail. About a picture. I swear. And somehow, thanks to my beloved Twitter friends, I apparently ended up peeing on my McNuggets today.

Allow me to explain.

I was attempting to go through my local McDonald’s drive-thru when my cell rang and it was a Rooker. Yah know, that badass Merle. So, being the smart cookie that I am, I peeled out of the drive thru lane, cut off a couple pedestrians and sped into a parking spot so I could give him my undivided attention. Note: You always want to give Rooker your undivided attention or you risk walking head first into his quirky sense of humor and getting a zinger tossed at your ear.

A few minutes later –mission accomplished (sort of), I resumed my effort to grab a quick lunch. Being the multi-tasking fool that I am, I figured while I was waiting in line I’d call The Magician and ask her to dig up this image we need.

After a couple of rings, her voicemail picked up, and my message went a little something like this (cue Devil Went Down to Georgia devil fiddling solo):

“Hey, I don’t know if you can do it, but if you have a chance sometime before tomorrow morning can you dig up a picture of….Good afternoon! I’ll have a Big Mac extra value meal with an unsweetened iced tea….McNuggets? …No. A, Big, Mac, value, meal…of him with the pistol. I’ve got other images but this one would work better to anchor the banner at…Yes, that’s correct. Iced, Tea. …What was I saying? Right. The image. God this is the weirdest voicemail ever. I hope you know what I’m talking about, and at least there’s monopoly pieces involved.”

Thankfully The Magician was able to decipher my babbling voicemail and proceeded to work her skills.

In the meantime, I commented on Twitter that she’d likely slap me silly the next time we met.

This amused some of my followers and led to the following exchange:

@jterzieff HAHA! “I’ll have a Big Mac Extra Value Meal…” “Should I be writing this down?”

LOL!!! Definitely! and no nuggets RT @MickMuise: @jterzieff HAHA! “I’ll have a Big Mac Extra Value Meal…” “Should I be writing this down?”

@jterzieff @MickMuise Video, please. 😉

Only if you’re interested in seeing my practically pee with laughter …ewwww RT @JadeSun12: @jterzieff @MickMuise Video, please. 😉

*spits iced tea all over computer* RT @JadeSun12: @jterzieff @MickMuise Not at all. I think I peed. #regretnothing

@mountaingirlvt @jterzieff @JadeSun12 @MickMuise no idea what’s going on but certain this is one of those “the less u know the happier you’ll be situations”

@mountaingirlvt @jterzieff @MickMuise I’m not sure myself. Something about Mick slapping Juliette until she peed on her McNuggets… ?

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At this point, to be honest, if I HAD any McNuggets I probably would have peed on them.

Instead I chortled and snorted just a little, and proceeded to resume sending a text to another Walking Dead actor about a different set of pictures. I intended to type “this week is kicking my butt” …autocorrect saw fit to change kicking to “licking”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is pretty much an average hour in my life…..

Until next time…carry anti-bacterial hand soap, avoid sidewalk creatures and never, ever get near a video camera if I’m in the vicinity.