Tag: boondock saints

Not quite the stalker I hoped for…

 

Not by choice I have been relatively quiet lately here on my blog … and I thought it was about time you all learned the truth. [I have omitted names to protect the innocent from being targeted.]

Just about two months ago, a crossbow-wielding zombie-killin’ actor jumped on my blog and left a comment alongside his The Walking Dead cast mates to join my crazy zombie crew, unleashing pandemonium in my email inbox and twitter DM stream.

I noticed an immediate uptick in the hits on my blog. Yeah, big surprise, right?!? Not… He is a “Saint” after all.

I railed at the “Unnamed Secret Government Agency” in my tweets as the assaults intensified and The Walking Dead slowly but surely overran my life … with some help from the Unnamed Secret Government Agency’s army of #zombietermites

.

 

*************

.

 

But over the next few days I noticed the same IP address hitting my blog every few minutes, hitting on that same post repeatedly, over, and over, and over, and over, and …. You get the picture.

At first I laughed. Then I got creeped out.

My TBFF suggested I put it out on Twitter and see if we couldn’t identify the “loser” who was living on my blog.

So I did.

Nobody responded.

The IP address kept hitting that same page over and over and over again.

Another Twitter friend DMd to ask me what was going on. I didn’t realize at the time that this person also happens to be a tech-genius. She did some digging and came back with some disturbing news …

The IP address?

Belongs to a government agency…unnamed by the information we could find.

 

Yep. You read it right …. I actually did bring the unnamed secret government agency down on my head with a little help from you-know-who.

[After an initial, and rather amusing, bout of panic that included me swearing quite profusely and running around in circles another tech-wizard friend pointed out that it was probably just an automatic program that latched on to a key word and I could definitely un-board the doors and windows.]

.

 

*************

.

 

I checked a few days ago and it was still happening with frightening regularity. Now that I have written this post (and am preparing to hit publish) I just don’t have it in me to go and check again.

If I disappear in the days or weeks following publication I will leave it to my beloved Zombie Survival Crew to come and find me. Please?

.

I’m not crazy, but my zombie crew may be …

Advance apologies to any first time readers.

 

If you run away screaming and never come back, I get it, I understand ….

 

That being said?

 

If you decide to do so, please do not expect me to include you when the zombie apocalypse unfolds and my #zombiesurvivalcrew is headed for a pre-planned safe harbor.

**********

 

As my regular readers know AMC’s new show The Walking Dead has already caused me some consternation following a truly disturbing reenactment of a recurring nightmare I have.

Now that we’re headed to the back end of a painfully short season, I find the show is forcing me to reevaluate the composition of my Zombie Survival Crew.

.

 

The Background:

I am not crazy. Odd? Maybe. Crazy? No.

I am a former foreign war correspondent with SAS-run combat training, writer of both fiction and nonfiction, and an avid monster freak from birth.  Zombies may not attack tomorrow, but it never hurts to be prepared for an emergency, so yes, *puts hands on hips and glares* I DO have a zombie survival plan.

I am also a great believer in the power each one of us has individually to act humanely towards one another regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or otherwise – and have repeatedly endorsed cooperation and self-sufficiency as keys to surviving a zombie apocalypse (or massive natural disaster or man-made attack).

.

 

The Roster:

  • Me (hey, it’s my crew, so yeah, I get listed first)
  • A former Army medic
  • A colleague who is survivalist that can build a log cabin or grow food in any climate
  • A fellow writer who is quite well trained on using knives and swords
  • A pilot (a cashier at my local Blockbuster who initially, but politely, ran away from me when I told him my plan)
  • An engineer
  • Another writer who excels in double fudge brownie making, who would likely become trip-her-to-escape nominee number one for my third writer friend on the crew

 

That was until The Walking Dead came into play …

Lesson 1: Ya need a redneck, y’all

Now I know I saw an interview somewhere with Norman Reedus – who plays the squirrel tossing Daryl Dixon — where he joked he would likely curl up in a ball and cry if the zombie hordes began shambling down the street.

So, that means I have to go with Michael Rooker – who plays Merle, Daryl’s tough-as-nails brother – as my resident redneck tough guy. Ummm, yeah, Rooker is playing a character, of course, but the man was born in Alabama, has known hardship and has that look in his eyes – so I’m going to run with it.

Now that’s not to say I wouldn’t save a space for Norman on the bus – especially if he brings his crossbow. (Hey all the Boondock Saints weapons work has got to mean something, right?)

.

NORMAN IS IN!!!!

He even begged a little, tho he DEFinitely didn’t have to!! or wait, maybe that was the other way round … (see the comment section for his actual post but here it is!!)

From Norman: im in let me in . i got skills . i eat just about anything . ha . oh yeah and im tuff.

Thanks man!!!

.

Continue reading I’m not crazy, but my zombie crew may be …