Hotties, not Rotties …

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I can’t even begin to count the times I’ve wondered why in the name of all that is good and great in the world The Walking Dead production team makes all these handsome actors look like crap. Not that we don’t like the sweaty look, but they all look like they’ve just survived an apocalypse. Ummmm … yeah, about that.

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Andrew Lincoln? IronE Singleton? Jon Bernthal?

 

(and yes, yes, YES, I hear ya screamin’…)

 

Norman “badass” Reedus?!?!?!

 

Talk about taking the, uhhhh… wind out of our, ummmm, sails ….

But the truth is, they have hit upon an undeniable apocalyptic truth: Even the hottest survivors are going to smell and look like walkers pretty fast.

So that got me thinking, … again.

What kind of men are we going to encounter

in the event of a cataclysmic global zombie outbreak?

And would any of them be worth braving the smell?

 

(I asked #zombiesurvivalcrew co-captain @RCMurphy to help me examine the evidence …. And here is where we landed)

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The Cop – Andrew Lincoln (Rick Grimes)

 

Pros: brave, loyal, intelligent

Cons: too honorable; compelled to play the hero

Anyone that falls for our ruggedly handsome hero is bound to have their heart broken. That man’s wife spends how much time alone and worried? Sure, he’s off saving the world. Heck he even knows just the right words to string together to make us all tear up. But is he worth the heartache? It will take an equally tough-as-nails woman to keep the Cop at home base. Even then it might not be enough to save him from his hero complex.

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The Sidekick – Steve Yeun (Glenn)

 

Pros: loyal, brave, funny

Cons: hides emotions behind sarcasm

One will never quite know where she sits with the Sidekick until the emotions reach a fever pitch. That seems to be the only time the façade drops and we get a peek at what’s really doing under the quick wit and boyish charms. And we want to get under there. This boy is H-O-T hot! He is also the type you can take home to your mother, provided that she’s not one of the shambling reanimated corpses chasing after you…

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The Redneck – Norman Reedus (Daryl Dixon)

 

Pros: weapon work, knows how to hunt, fearless

Cons: short-tempered, bigoted

Is there anything hotter than a man with a crossbow? Come on, you’re reading a blog about hot men in the zombie apocalypse, don’t pretend a man with a weapon isn’t doing it for you. While the stereotype of the Redneck generally isn’t classically handsome, he has one or two features that will stand out. We’re suckers for nice eyes and strong arms. Hey, what do you know…

Anyways, as with the Cop it will take a hard-ass woman to lasso the Redneck and put him in his place. His attitude towards women as less than equals may make you wish you could kick him in the jewels. But keep digging, we sense a softer side to him.

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The Father – Jeffrey DeMunn (Dale Horvath)

 

Pros: age, wisdom, serenity, focus

Cons: age, speed, longevity

We’re not saying any of us have a daddy complex, but we did *swoon* a little when the Father figure started talking about his deceased wife. There was love there, the type of love that all of us, men and women alike strive to feel in our lives. That is what is so dang attractive about this gentleman. He sees everything that happens in camp and is chalk full of sage wisdom (think Yoda without the backwards speech pattern). Even if you don’t get romantic with this one, he’d make a wonderful friend at the end of days.

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The Other Man – Jon Bernthal (Shane Walsh)

 

Pros: Strength, courage, quick thinking

 Cons: Jealousy, control issues

It was tempting to leave the Other Man out of all of this, but the love triangle present in TWD makes it impossible to turn our heads away from this very, very handsome fellow. We know he’s a feisty lover (thank you writers!). We also know he is good with kids. Or is he? The Other Man spends a lot of effort trying to impress the woman he has his eyes on. For some the attention might be flattering, but try to see his reasoning. If he has the favor of the child, generally a mother will follow suit. For the Other Man it is all about trying to get control in an environment where there is none. He is forceful, domineering, and downright scary when it comes to the rules of the camp. Bet you fifty bucks he’d run his marriage the same way once the honeymoon period was over.

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So gun, humor, crossbow, wisdom or the other man?

Well, judging from the evidence the best all around partner would be:

 

THE SIDEKICK

 

And yes, we argued long and hard over the final choice.

Strategy and intelligence won the day.

 

… but I think you know which weapon we really wanted to choose …

 

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32 Comments to “Hotties, not Rotties …”

  1. Jinxie G says:

    Alright, that’s it, if these are my choices, I’m packing the vibrator! LOL I’ve only watched 3 episodes of this show so far and already I want to shoot several people (more on that when I write my Zombiepocalypse blog post). So for now, I’ll say ladies, have at them! I’m old and broken anyway. =p

  2. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jinxie, Juliette Terzieff, Juliette Terzieff, R.C. Murphy, Juliette Terzieff and others. Juliette Terzieff said: Hotties, Not Rotties http://bit.ly/hjSi3p oh I KNOW i am going to get in trouble for this one! *points at @RCMurphy* […]

  3. juliette says:

    Buahahaha!!!
    I’m not going to argue with you *reaches into bag to pass Jinzie something special*

    – J

  4. Patricia says:

    Juliette,

    Where do I begin. Well, I reckon having lived in the South for a while now, that I will go for our good ol’ boy Daryl. Every time I hear his name, I do think of his namesakes (Hi, I’m Larry, and this is my brother Daryl, and my other brother, Daryl-for you young’uns look up Newhart). But he is loyal to his family, we can all agree that Merle is one lucky bigot, he is a good hunter, he can control his temper if necessary and he’s smart (the chokehold is illegal-priceless).

    However, us girls don’t fare any better. I mean, Andrea and Amy are still dealing with “Daddy loved you more” issues and Lori, well, the jury still out on that one, and the other wife (can’t remember her name) is still being beat up. After an apocalypse. When she could just feed him to the walkers.

    Well, I’ve said my piece. Crossbow!

  5. juliette says:

    Because my favorite weapon IS the crossbow, I’m hamstrung for a reply.
    Gonna have to think long and hard on that.

    But, yeah, chokehold is illegal. CLASSIC.

    – J

  6. JJ says:

    I have to say that dirty or not these are some hot guys they’ve got on the show. Do I have to pick just one? I mean, it’s the end of the world so normal rules don’t apply, right? 🙂

    As for the gross factor let’s just call it apocalyptic chic.

  7. juliette says:

    Apocalyptic chic FOR THE WIN!!!!

    you are my new favorite Z-crew member

    *lowers her corssbow*

  8. Patricia says:

    JJ,

    You are fast becoming a personal favorite 😉

  9. juliette says:

    I shall second that with gusto!!!

    xoxo
    -J

  10. JJ says:

    Awww, thanks ladies. It’s nice to curry favor before the apocalypse happens because that means extra protection and first pick of the goods we scavenge.

  11. juliette says:

    *raises her crossbow*
    Hey now!
    Let’s remember who is in charge here!
    (wink, wink)
    xoxox
    – J

  12. JJ says:

    I meant after you of course. That goes without saying which is why you aren’t first. The leader doesn’t need to get in line….especially when she has a crossbow. 😉

  13. Jinxie G says:

    Had to change my website so a damn picture shows up.

    Anyway, the whole grungy, dirty thing doesn’t bother me too much because if a man’s working hard, that scent is divine in my nostrils. TMI? Besides, where’s the shower? No more luxuries. It’s back to the old hunters and gatherers days, yep. Why yes, I’m an anthropology geek too.

    On a side note: my ex-husband grew up in Wyoming and his dad was part of the mountain men group. So yeah, I’d want someone totally like that! He preferred bow hunting over rifles. Survival skills in the wilderness are absolutely vital!

  14. I think you already know who i would pick, lol! But seriously, thinking long and hard about this if they were my choices and this really happened, ya id pick Reedus (Daryl). Reasons? Well for one, he is an outsider and thats what i have always been too. His quick wit, i love, and you can obviously tell that there’s more to him than even he realizes. He has a tough exterior but he is looking for someone to look past it and see who he really is and wants to be, just like me. HA! Daryl needs someone who won’t put up with his bs but also understands this is the way he was raised, and remember who is brother is, and that he can become the hero he wants and needs to be. Okay i am gonna stop here before i have a whole novel written lol.

  15. Lisacdj29 says:

    Well I would definitely take Daryl no matter what he smells like but we all know the only guys left will be the shitty ones. All the brave hot guys will be dead.

  16. juliette says:

    *places hands on hips*
    Lisa!!!!
    I am going to tell my Hermanito Anthony on you!!!

    Loooove it!!!
    – J

  17. juliette says:

    *raises crossbow, steps up to the line*
    Jennifer —
    Let’s just remember who is in charge here ….
    that’s all i’m sayin’

    Ha ha!!
    – J

  18. Lisacdj29 says:

    As it is he always tells me “mom you better keep it professional because I worked with him” I can’t even say that he’s hot! Lol I have to be a good girl 😉

  19. juliette says:

    NICE!
    So you’re saying that I now have leverage over you ….
    red carpet here I come! Momma’s stayin’ home!!
    *runs off to find Anthony and Norman*

    oooooh, yer in such trouble girl!!!

    – J

  20. cattwitts says:

    Well we need these hot men ,so we just need to cover up the
    Smell with body spray .:-), and I like crossbows they work nicely, but give a
    Shot gun ,or machine gun that will do just fine too 🙂

  21. JJ says:

    Seriously…Norman is hot. I like a man who knows how to handle his weapons. I feel the need to be loyal to Steve as well because we Koreans need to stick together. 🙂

    PS – if you’re on the Z-Crew I’m @creativeconduit on Twitter

    I’d prefer to go by JJ (until I get an awesome nickname) since I believe another Jennifer is roaming around here. That is one reason I look forward to the apocalypse. All those other Jennifer’s can get turned to walkers and then there will just be a couple of us around.

  22. JJ says:

    To cattwitts: As long as it isn’t Axe body spray we’re good. I’d rather smell walkers than that awful stuff.

  23. juliette says:

    Steps in
    *brandishes crossbow*

    A-hem, seriously, people, ya’ll need to remember who is in charge here!
    My crossbow, my crew

    nuff said

  24. to jj i wont become a walker lol sorry girl

  25. Seriously love all the zombie stuff. 😀 And twitter has been a blast and a wonderful stress reliever… no, twitter was not meant to be eupemism. You can quit biting your tongue now lol

    I think I would want the biggest, toughest bad asterick around. As long as I kept my gun toting and knife throwing BFFs around, we could keep him in line…

  26. juliette says:

    Twitter … stress reliever ….
    I’m not EVEN going to go there.
    Ha!

    *lowers crossbow*
    you guys crack me up!

    – J

  27. Patricia says:

    Leona,

    We’ll keep them all in line. Juliette has her crossbow at the ready!

  28. Leslie says:

    If only one prob daryl he seems like he would get one my nerves the lest and protect me

  29. JJ says:

    Jennifer O: I didn’t mean for you to turn into a walker…I meant all the other Jennifer’s of the world so that we wouldn’t have to share our name with millions of others. 🙂

    Don’t even get me started on Twitter. I’m pretty sure an addiction has formed. Support group anyone? 😛

  30. Patricia says:

    JJ,

    Count me in for the support group. Brownies are covered. What can I bring?

  31. RK Charron says:

    Hi 🙂
    Fun post & even more fun comments!
    All the best,
    RKCharron

  32. juliette says:

    Thanks for taking the time RK!
    Come back n visit, zombies often shamble by …..

    ~ J