I’m not crazy, but my zombie crew may be …

Advance apologies to any first time readers.


If you run away screaming and never come back, I get it, I understand ….


That being said?


If you decide to do so, please do not expect me to include you when the zombie apocalypse unfolds and my #zombiesurvivalcrew is headed for a pre-planned safe harbor.



As my regular readers know AMC’s new show The Walking Dead has already caused me some consternation following a truly disturbing reenactment of a recurring nightmare I have.

Now that we’re headed to the back end of a painfully short season, I find the show is forcing me to reevaluate the composition of my Zombie Survival Crew.



The Background:

I am not crazy. Odd? Maybe. Crazy? No.

I am a former foreign war correspondent with SAS-run combat training, writer of both fiction and nonfiction, and an avid monster freak from birth.  Zombies may not attack tomorrow, but it never hurts to be prepared for an emergency, so yes, *puts hands on hips and glares* I DO have a zombie survival plan.

I am also a great believer in the power each one of us has individually to act humanely towards one another regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or otherwise – and have repeatedly endorsed cooperation and self-sufficiency as keys to surviving a zombie apocalypse (or massive natural disaster or man-made attack).



The Roster:

  • Me (hey, it’s my crew, so yeah, I get listed first)
  • A former Army medic
  • A colleague who is survivalist that can build a log cabin or grow food in any climate
  • A fellow writer who is quite well trained on using knives and swords
  • A pilot (a cashier at my local Blockbuster who initially, but politely, ran away from me when I told him my plan)
  • An engineer
  • Another writer who excels in double fudge brownie making, who would likely become trip-her-to-escape nominee number one for my third writer friend on the crew


That was until The Walking Dead came into play …

Lesson 1: Ya need a redneck, y’all

Now I know I saw an interview somewhere with Norman Reedus – who plays the squirrel tossing Daryl Dixon — where he joked he would likely curl up in a ball and cry if the zombie hordes began shambling down the street.

So, that means I have to go with Michael Rooker – who plays Merle, Daryl’s tough-as-nails brother – as my resident redneck tough guy. Ummm, yeah, Rooker is playing a character, of course, but the man was born in Alabama, has known hardship and has that look in his eyes – so I’m going to run with it.

Now that’s not to say I wouldn’t save a space for Norman on the bus – especially if he brings his crossbow. (Hey all the Boondock Saints weapons work has got to mean something, right?)



He even begged a little, tho he DEFinitely didn’t have to!! or wait, maybe that was the other way round … (see the comment section for his actual post but here it is!!)

From Norman: im in let me in . i got skills . i eat just about anything . ha . oh yeah and im tuff.

Thanks man!!!


Lesson 2: The Voice of Reason


You’ve got to have a core group of people willing to step up and tell it like it is – even when the telling is tough. Enter T-Dog, played by Robert “IronE” Singleton, who hasn’t had the most dialogue of the cast, but does have lines that stick, such as:

I’m not strolling through the streets of Atlanta with just my good intentions, okay?


Again, IronE is playin’ a part, but I’m adding him to my list because he’s got a look and a public persona that says this might actually be him in a post-apocalypse situation. Plus, he’s a trained dancer and former football player – I’m thinkin’ grace and speed, y’all, grace and speed.

IronE is officially on the bus ! http://twitter.com/ironesingleton/status/7118241419759616 

Thanks man!

Very happy to be a part of your zombie crew! 😉 Thanks!! RT @jterzieff I’d kill a zombie for a comment! http://bit.ly/bv9a1b about 2 hours ago via web in reply to jterzieff

IronE Singleton

Lesson 3: Law and Order


I always avoided including law enforcement personnel in my zombie survival crew in the belief that first-responders and the law would likely be decimated in the initial days of a zombie infestation as they responded to emergency calls without realizing the danger.

But I’m considering reconsidering now that I am watching Rick and Shane play out their roles in the survival group. Both have their strengths, both have weaknesses (which I may devote an entire post to later). But both are seriously handy with guns and crowd control.

So …. Andrew Lincoln (Rick) or Jon Bernthal (Shane)  ???

Well, Lincoln can ride horses (sort of) and surf…. And if he’s anything like Rick in real life, he’d sacrifice himself to save a friend left behind – Andrew Lincoln said so himself.

And, yes, I realize neither one of them is a police officer, they just play them on TV, but I had a rhythm going here ….

so sue me, or raise your hand if you are a cop!


I’ve got an open slot ….


Added bonus! Another The Walking Dead cast member, Anthony Guajardo, has officially joined the #zombiesurvivalcrew ! Thank you Anthony!!

@jterzieff haha “my crossbow is loaded” it was great article and i loved the laundry scene because Ed got what he deserved! 12 minutes ago via web in reply to jterzieff

Awesome! I’ll add you the crew officially! 🙂 @AnthonyGuajardo @jterzieff i would be honored!!! 8 minutes ago via web

Originally from: http://twitter.com/AnthonyGuajardo/status/8614775516823552

and http://twitter.com/jterzieff/status/8616063558221824


63 thoughts on “I’m not crazy, but my zombie crew may be …”

  1. “Lesson 1: Ya need a redneck, y’all”

    Yes, yes you do. I grew up in the middle of nowhere. Most of my survival skills came from watching the men in the area. Some lessons you only get from that type, like which fuel to use to light a trash heap on fire and just how good bear meat jerky is. (even if a tad tough…)


    There’s also the fact that the fictional redneck you referenced Cut Off His Own Fricken Hand!!! Sure, he may be hard to control, but aim his psycho ass at a zombie and we’re covered for at least a good ten minutes to get away.

    Now if you’ll excuse me… I have a sword to sharpen.

  2. Dude, I got a promotion? Schweet! Can I have a new shiny for my promotion gift? Nothing special, just a new bowie knife. Mine was… misplaced. Yeah, we’ll just say that. *grins*

  3. well if this helps i was born in colorado, moved to montana, then lived in utah,went back to colorado,went back to utah, moved to ca for 6yrs, moved to las vegas, then moved back home to montana have been back here for 17yrs can drive in snow, i know how to fish and hunt, what berries to eat, and i dont take crap from anyone,and i believe we should all work together

  4. I am so psyched that you said that!
    I was delighted by the mephasis on the women as the “hunters” in last night’s episode …. i feel a new post coming on!
    but, you are IN!!!
    Welcome aboard!
    (and what’s your twitter handle?)
    ~ J

  5. Tell ya what – if we get Norman, Michael, IronE or Lincoln on the bus, I’ll get you a shiny new bowie …
    hmmmm, bowie … ziggy stardust …
    wait, what were we talking about?!?!

  6. Well put Jennifer!
    I agree! I actually think women would do better in such a situation — but kinda nice to have some *a-hem* brute strength around once in a while.

  7. and when the men annoy us, they’re first on the tripping list 😉 Hey, it’ll cause a distraction while we head for the bus.
    I’ll try to commandeer an ambulance on the way, for obvious reasons.

    fun article! Mwah!

  8. YeS!!! Good point!
    Except for one in particular … because of the crossbow, of course ….
    And didn’t we already discuss the ambulance issue? LOL
    ~ J

  9. I promise not to take an ambulance in use. Just abandoned ones. With the possible lack of first responders issue you addressed, el Presidente, I assume that should be easy to come by. I might not even have to stop for gas on the way. Just transfer all usable equipment from the low on gas one when I find another one with more gas. Then I’ll have even more supplies by the time I get to you.
    Also, I think another friend we have in common suggested adding walnuts and mandarins to our stash of distractions.
    Zombies, well, I don’t think they have much in the brain department, and these things look like brains. That might just buy us some time.

  10. Even though I’ve not touched it in a while, I’m sure I remember enough from my zombie RPG to be of use when the zombie apocalypse strikes. The fire-making and camp-building I’m not so good at, but I do know how to do most of the essentials – restarting generators, gathering supplies, setting traps…

    Yes, I have thought about this way too much over the years.

  11. Right on man! Gonna give you an in one the fire-making and camp-building, cause we’re over run by girls.
    Well, that, and I kinda like ya — you da man!

  12. I am a crack shot, have an engineering degree, and have access to a large ranch in the middle of nowhere, with existing wells and existing small-scale windmills for electricity generation 🙂

  13. I don’t have any useful skills but I am in another country so if ya’ll need to escape them zombies you just jump a boat and head on down under and I can accommodate you all.

  14. Since I just “officially” joined the crew, must say you have a kick-ass team so far.

    I’m going to get out my Nana’s herb book from back in the day and start greasing up my rifle and practice my sharp-shooting skills. I was pretty good back on the farm growing up.

    I can make brownies too. Then we work on our novels during the downtimes.

  15. Oh you know you can count me in if there’s room. I’ve got some ideas I’ve already shared and plenty I haven’t. I may not have brute strength but I’ve got plenty of endurance and a sharp mind. And don’t try that ‘not crazy’ line, we all see through it. All the best people a bit crazy, you have to be mad to plan for something like this.

  16. Welcome aboard to all our new members!
    Learning to ride a motorcycle, in preparation for zombie apocalypse. I’m little, and need as many options as possible for speed. I figure, I might be able to lead some of those nasty zombies away, buying some time for the rest of you. Eventually, I should catch up to you.

  17. So, I’m gonna head on out the back and start construction on a shelter ready for when or if it’s needed. Might put in a nice little shooting range too so we can practice, might learn how to use a crossbow while I’m at it…yayyy, fun, fun, fun. As for being crazy, well my mother says I’m not crazy just very special…lol.

  18. My skilz? Well, I write a wee bit o’horror, and I travel w/my husband on a Harley. He just happens to be the real MacGuyver. We can survive anywhere if he is with us! He doesn’t tweet, but please forgive him. I work out like a fiend and can outrun and/or snap those zombies like toothpicks.

  19. I forgot to mention it before but I have mad shooting skills, I don’t complain when the weather sucks, and the facebook quiz said I would totally survive a zombie apocalypse.

  20. Personally I want a Kei Truck. Compact, can handle light to moderate off road. Easy to reinforce. Perfect for gophers to give them some added protection. The maintenance crews out here uses them exclusively so I’ve gotten to kick the tires so to speak.

    If I’ve got the family in tow though I’d want something I showed Juliette earlier, a personalized version of this. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40263315/ns/technology_and_science-future_of_energy/

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