I’m not crazy, but my zombie crew may be …

Advance apologies to any first time readers.

 

If you run away screaming and never come back, I get it, I understand ….

 

That being said?

 

If you decide to do so, please do not expect me to include you when the zombie apocalypse unfolds and my #zombiesurvivalcrew is headed for a pre-planned safe harbor.

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As my regular readers know AMC’s new show The Walking Dead has already caused me some consternation following a truly disturbing reenactment of a recurring nightmare I have.

Now that we’re headed to the back end of a painfully short season, I find the show is forcing me to reevaluate the composition of my Zombie Survival Crew.

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The Background:

I am not crazy. Odd? Maybe. Crazy? No.

I am a former foreign war correspondent with SAS-run combat training, writer of both fiction and nonfiction, and an avid monster freak from birth.  Zombies may not attack tomorrow, but it never hurts to be prepared for an emergency, so yes, *puts hands on hips and glares* I DO have a zombie survival plan.

I am also a great believer in the power each one of us has individually to act humanely towards one another regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or otherwise – and have repeatedly endorsed cooperation and self-sufficiency as keys to surviving a zombie apocalypse (or massive natural disaster or man-made attack).

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The Roster:

  • Me (hey, it’s my crew, so yeah, I get listed first)
  • A former Army medic
  • A colleague who is survivalist that can build a log cabin or grow food in any climate
  • A fellow writer who is quite well trained on using knives and swords
  • A pilot (a cashier at my local Blockbuster who initially, but politely, ran away from me when I told him my plan)
  • An engineer
  • Another writer who excels in double fudge brownie making, who would likely become trip-her-to-escape nominee number one for my third writer friend on the crew

 

That was until The Walking Dead came into play …

Lesson 1: Ya need a redneck, y’all

Now I know I saw an interview somewhere with Norman Reedus – who plays the squirrel tossing Daryl Dixon — where he joked he would likely curl up in a ball and cry if the zombie hordes began shambling down the street.

So, that means I have to go with Michael Rooker – who plays Merle, Daryl’s tough-as-nails brother – as my resident redneck tough guy. Ummm, yeah, Rooker is playing a character, of course, but the man was born in Alabama, has known hardship and has that look in his eyes – so I’m going to run with it.

Now that’s not to say I wouldn’t save a space for Norman on the bus – especially if he brings his crossbow. (Hey all the Boondock Saints weapons work has got to mean something, right?)

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NORMAN IS IN!!!!

He even begged a little, tho he DEFinitely didn’t have to!! or wait, maybe that was the other way round … (see the comment section for his actual post but here it is!!)

From Norman: im in let me in . i got skills . i eat just about anything . ha . oh yeah and im tuff.

Thanks man!!!

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Lesson 2: The Voice of Reason

 

You’ve got to have a core group of people willing to step up and tell it like it is – even when the telling is tough. Enter T-Dog, played by Robert “IronE” Singleton, who hasn’t had the most dialogue of the cast, but does have lines that stick, such as:

I’m not strolling through the streets of Atlanta with just my good intentions, okay?

 

Again, IronE is playin’ a part, but I’m adding him to my list because he’s got a look and a public persona that says this might actually be him in a post-apocalypse situation. Plus, he’s a trained dancer and former football player – I’m thinkin’ grace and speed, y’all, grace and speed.

IronE is officially on the bus ! http://twitter.com/ironesingleton/status/7118241419759616 

Thanks man!

Very happy to be a part of your zombie crew! 😉 Thanks!! RT @jterzieff I’d kill a zombie for a comment! http://bit.ly/bv9a1b about 2 hours ago via web in reply to jterzieff

IronE Singleton

Lesson 3: Law and Order

 

I always avoided including law enforcement personnel in my zombie survival crew in the belief that first-responders and the law would likely be decimated in the initial days of a zombie infestation as they responded to emergency calls without realizing the danger.

But I’m considering reconsidering now that I am watching Rick and Shane play out their roles in the survival group. Both have their strengths, both have weaknesses (which I may devote an entire post to later). But both are seriously handy with guns and crowd control.

So …. Andrew Lincoln (Rick) or Jon Bernthal (Shane)  ???

Well, Lincoln can ride horses (sort of) and surf…. And if he’s anything like Rick in real life, he’d sacrifice himself to save a friend left behind – Andrew Lincoln said so himself.

And, yes, I realize neither one of them is a police officer, they just play them on TV, but I had a rhythm going here ….

so sue me, or raise your hand if you are a cop!

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I’ve got an open slot ….

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Added bonus! Another The Walking Dead cast member, Anthony Guajardo, has officially joined the #zombiesurvivalcrew ! Thank you Anthony!!

@jterzieff haha “my crossbow is loaded” it was great article and i loved the laundry scene because Ed got what he deserved! 12 minutes ago via web in reply to jterzieff

Awesome! I’ll add you the crew officially! 🙂 @AnthonyGuajardo @jterzieff i would be honored!!! 8 minutes ago via web

Originally from: http://twitter.com/AnthonyGuajardo/status/8614775516823552

and http://twitter.com/jterzieff/status/8616063558221824

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63 thoughts on “I’m not crazy, but my zombie crew may be …”

  1. Hm… I’m not very athletic… I do sit and listen to people’s problems everyday and I’ll bet people might have a butt load of problems come zombie time. Plus, I’m good at staying calm in a crisis. Bring it. 😉

  2. Damn, I really wish I had television right now. I want to see this show. Think I could find it on hulu or something? Anyway, you know I have a compound bow and two rifles. I’m also the person that sees both sides to every issue. That’s a plus, right? hehe Also, as I stated on one of my recent posts, I have no problem killing one of my friends if they become zombified. =)

  3. I’m so in!!! And I’ve even been working on the Rocket Launcher Hooverround to make up for my broken ankle and knee…although my sister’s point that a unicorn would work much better does have some merit, I’m all about the explosions. Please tell me that you own The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. If you don’t, then you’ll need both me and my copy. You still need me because what Zombie Survival Crew is complete without the crazy Swede?

  4. Now imagine said vehicle with a hatch in the floor so that you can pull over top of the access ports for a gas stations underground takes and drop a hose down there to siphon gas without ever having to leave the RV, and a top hatch above the beds for escape, or quick access to the roof where a scoped rifle waits in a case for quick sniping.

    And to whoever wants a motorcycle, consider an Armstrong MT350. Dual-sport bike that has seen military service for British forces. Can handle just about anything you can throw it, and if you’ve got a decent mechanic they can tweak the motor to run on just about anything that combusts, but it seems to do best on diesel or regular petrol. I’ve had one running on kerosene but the mileage wasn’t all that great. There is an older MT500 too, but overall the MT350 is better.

  5. no such thing as over-planning, just making sure you get it right 🙂
    skills I can bring…I can fish, cook, I’m great with kids (preschool teacher) um…I used to be able to shoot a rifle and shotgun and probably could again with a little practice and I offer an international safe haven.

  6. I want in! Avid camper/fisherman/hunter. Got six guns (various) and a long bow. And, I’ve been working on cars since I was a kid! You are going to need somebody who can keep the get-away vehicles up and running, or else, you’re just sitting ducks! AND, as an added bonus, I am EMT certified! Complete package deal! Lemme in! PLEASE?!

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